[Scene: Sawyers driveway.  Daytime.  Nikki comes home early from church with baby. Baby is desperate for a nap. Nikki is desperate to take off panythose.]

Nikki’s Minivan: (pulls into driveway, stops at garage door)

Nikki’s Brain: Okay, now we just need to open the–OMG!!! Where is the garage door opener?! I don’t have a key to the house. WHERE IS THE GARAGE DOOR OPENER?!

Nikki: (searches frantically on the floorboard for elusive garage door opener)

Nikki’s Brain: Think.  Think!  You had it this morning.  Maybe it fell out of the van when you got to church.  Sigh.  Call Sean.  You’re going to have to call Sean.

Nikki: (calls Sean)

Sean: (does not answer)

Nikki: (does not want to drive back to church to look for garage door opener in church parking lot)

Baby: (is starting to freak out)

Nikki’s Brain: Okay, call the church…the number is…

Nikki’s Brain: ?

Nikki: Bulletin!  It’s in the bulletin!

Baby: (is wailing)

Very Nice Elder: Heritage Presbyterian Church!  Can I help you?

Nikki: Um, yes, um, this is Nikki Sawyers?  And I need to speak with…?

Very Nice Elder: Well hello Nikki Sawyers!

Nikki: Hi!  Hee.  Um, is Sean around?  My husband?  Sean?

Very Nice Elder: (is amused? confused?)

Nikki: (cannot tell)

Baby: (is throwing things)

Sean: Hello?  Is everything okay?

Nikki: Sean!  I don’t know what happened!  My garage door opener.  It’s gone!  I had it this morning!  But it’s gone!

Nikki: (is panicking!  is wondering if someone stole it and is waiting inside to murder her!)

Nikki: (maybe watches a little too much Criminal Minds)

Sean: …

Sean: Your garage door opener…

Nikki: Yes!

Sean: …is built into the van…remember?…look up…see?

Nikki’s Brain: (is scrambled)

Sean: (is trying hard not to laugh at wife)

Garage Door: (is mocking me)

Baby: (clearly deserves a better mother)

Nikki: (is dying)

Nikki’s Minivan: (thinks it’s smarter than me)

Nikki’s Brain: (does not argue the point)

[At long last Nikki and baby are no longer held hostage in the driveway but happily pull into the garage.  Baby is thrilled to escape the confines of her annoying carseat.  Nikki decides the world might be a safer place if she took a nap.]

FIN.