I don’t like to talk to myself. I need an audience–not a lot of people, but at least one human being with whom I can converse, in actual out loud words. And also, I thrive on body language as feedback. I can discern from people’s facial expressions if they are understanding what I’m saying, if I’m making any sense, if they are mentally approving or rejecting me, etc.
Sean loves to talk to himself. When he watches a movie, he gets so into the plot that he literally talks back to the characters as if he were one of them. It amuses me greatly, mostly because he is completely unaware that he is doing it. He does this with books, too, or just with whatever dialogue that might be running through his mind. Shaylea, even at six years old, seems to have inherited this little quirk, although in her pysche it has progressed having invisible friends–and not just one–a whole troupe. They’ll be touring in town near you real soon.
I remember getting my first award for writing when I was in the first grade. The essay was entitled, “Why I Have the Best Teacher.” I proceed to logically outline in 3 sentences how Mrs. Collins was indeed the best teacher because when a student made a good grade on a test, she would “poot it on the wall.” And you know, even a 1st grader can tell that’s something to be impressed by.
In the following years, I learned how to spell, and my writing continued to be recognized. In college, I majored in English, and I had to write so much for class that I lost my joy for it. And then I became an English teacher and really started to hate it. Then there were life events–big ones like jobs, and moves, and kids. So, I haven’t written anything for a long, long time. But I have these friends (you know who you are) who have been pressuring me to start a blog, and I don’t know…I just never wanted to.
The thing is–I’m not that good of a writer. I mean, I really don’t think so. I read lots of blogs. Lots. I think I can say with a high degree of accuracy that I don’t have much to contribute to the whole blogosphere.
And yet, here I am. So, whatever, you all win. Happy now? You have made me one of you, and now Sean, I can no longer laugh at you when you talk to yourself because lo, I am doing it too.
Thursday, May, 10, 2007 at 8: 31 pm
Yay! You have brightened my night, and I needed it. (: I’m glad you’re here.
You should have the same goal that Lacey does to make sure she blogs (somewhat) regularly: I always put good things I’m reading in the black box on the right side of my blog. Her goal is to write another blog before the other one gets pushed off. So that usually gives her a good week or so in between.
Thursday, May, 10, 2007 at 8: 38 pm
Woman! You totally can’t tell people that their pastor talks to himself…nice! (Do I really do that?)
Thursday, May, 10, 2007 at 8: 53 pm
I don’t see what the problem is. I’ve been pretending people were listening to me for years. It’s a lot more fun though when you wear dirty clothes and make sure you mutter instead of speak aloud. At least then people think twice about mugging you.
Btw, you are a great writer, and we (royal or plural) look forward to your contribution to our lives via blog. (and novel, novella, or compilation of short somethings)
Thursday, May, 10, 2007 at 9: 03 pm
Wow, good job Nikki. Sean, back off her, freedom of speech fuels good blogs. Look forward to reading more. Don’t be a slacker and stop updating. Pull an “all-nighter” if you have to. Later.
Thursday, May, 10, 2007 at 9: 28 pm
Y’all are so funny! Thanks for the encouragement. Now I don’t feel so much like I’m talking to myself after all. Don’t worry John–I’m all about the all-nighter.
Thursday, May, 10, 2007 at 9: 30 pm
Yay, Nikki!!!! I’m soooo proud of you! I have had so many good things happen today, this being one of them!
Friday, May, 11, 2007 at 9: 28 am
Finally! You entered the blog world! I am SO proud of you! We are blog friends now! Yea! Love you!
Friday, May, 11, 2007 at 10: 08 am
Something you said, Nikki, about being an English teacher and losing your joy for writing was exactly why I chickened out in college and switched my major from English to psychology (major mistake for me, but that’s another issue). I was afraid I’d start to hate the one thing I really love.
I think you should definitely keep writing, and I look forward to reading your books and more of this blog.
By the way, tell Sean not to worry about the talking to himself thing - I’ve been doing that for years and only occasionally have people threatened to have me committed.
Friday, May, 11, 2007 at 5: 54 pm
Awwwwww..y’all are proud of me! Okay whatever. Don’t make a big deal about it.
Meghan–yes. Not only did I hate it but was thoroughly intimidated to write anything ever after years of reading and analyzing all the “greats” of the literary world. What on earth would I have to contribute, you know? I can’t wait to read your book, though–who is the publisher?
Friday, May, 11, 2007 at 7: 24 pm
hey the black box thing really works - and if you don’t watch it, she’ll totally kick you off!
Friday, May, 11, 2007 at 9: 59 pm
I haven’t finished the book yet, and have no idea if anyone will even want to publish it. Mom said that she would send it in to her agent and see if Denise thought she could sell it anywhere. We’ll see . . .